Finding More in the Here and Now: A Journey of Authenticity and Fulfillment
A memorable scene from *Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory* vividly plays in my mind—the one where Veruca Salt demands, "I want more, Daddy." Her character, while obnoxious, strikes a chord with a fundamental human truth: we always want more. More money, power, and autonomy in our careers; more understanding, time, and experiences with our families; more support, engagement, and options in our communities.
Two years ago, I was on what felt like the express track to becoming the CEO of a Bank. Yet, it wasn't until a friend's death, the start of my own business, and meeting my boyfriend that I began to understand that while seeking more is not inherently wrong, the manner and purpose of our pursuit profoundly matter.
The launch of my business felt like a divine alignment, a series of perfect events that convinced me to take the leap into entrepreneurship with a safety net mysteriously in place. However, I quickly noticed a familiar pattern reemerging: "I'll do what I truly want after achieving XYZ." This mindset had previously led me to miss significant moments and opportunities with loved ones—all in the name of "chasing my dreams."
As I navigated life post a breakup, I found myself diving into social circles that seemed to echo past mistakes, despite my efforts to connect more authentically. It was through starting my business and the relationship with my now partner that the most profound lessons were learned. Work no longer dictated my social connections, allowing me to pursue friendships genuinely, without ulterior motives. My partner has opened up a whole new world for me. Together, we've explored Oregon, embarked on hikes, and shared enriching experiences that didn't require leaving the country to feel fulfilling. For the first time, I can truly say I love the life I've built around me.
The past few months have been a time of reflection, with certain thoughts and realizations continuously surfacing in my mind. I've pondered on what I know for sure: my desire to travel and experience the world, to love and engage with my community, to feel fulfilled romantically, and to find passion in my work. Above all, I want to live a life that makes both God and myself proud, a life that reveals truth and embraces the journey.
A significant theme for me now is the full expression of self in the present. Instead of dreaming about a future home with a view or exotic travels, I've transformed my current living space into the best version it can be within my budget and traveled more in the last 12 months than in the previous 12 years—all within a five-hour drive from home. Today, I realize that as I've learned to authentically express myself, my dreams of interesting friendships and fulfilling love have become my reality.
The challenge now is to apply this lesson to my work, to create a system that respects both myself and others. I feel a resistance within, a push to get this right, acknowledging that the structures we build around our pursuits matter deeply. In embracing the pursuit of more, I've discovered that it's not just about the destination but about finding richness and fulfillment in the journey. As we strive for more, let's do so with intention, authenticity, and a deep appreciation for the present moment.
